Patient education: Preparing a child for day care or preschool (The Basics)

Why do I need to prepare my child for day care or preschool? — Sending a young child to day care or preschool can be a big step for both the parent and the child. This transition can be very emotional for you and your child. Some families handle this change with ease. Other times, a little preparation can help make things go more smoothly.

This information can help if your child is starting day care, preschool, or another form of child care away from home.

What should I do before my child starts day care or preschool? — In the months or weeks before day care or preschool starts, help them get ready. Here are few things you might do to help prepare your toddler or preschool-aged child:

●Visit the day care or preschool with your child a few times if possible. Explore the classroom and play areas. Talk with the teacher about school routines. Learn how they help children adjust to day care.

●Let your child explore their new classroom and meet and play with the other children. Show your child where they will keep their things. This visit will show your child that you like and trust the people who will take care of them. It also helps your child get used to the place.

●Read books and tell stories about day care and preschool. Talk about what the characters are feeling. Ask your child how they feel. Tell your child stories from when you first went to preschool or day care if you remember.

●Use pretend play to help your child learn about day care or preschool:

•Take turns being the teacher, child, and parent.

•Learn about school routines. Have story time, play time, drawing, rest time, and outdoor play.

•Do activities that they might do at school. Give your child crayons or markers to draw pictures at home.

●Help your child choose a special backpack or bag for day care or preschool. Some children are very excited to have their own special bag. Ask your child to help pack the bag so it becomes part of the routine.

●Talk with your child about when you will leave and come back. Have a special ritual or routine that happens when you leave and return that is just for you both. This can be a special wave from outside of the classroom window, a song you sing together, or something like a kiss that they hold in their hand until you return.

How do I help my child when I drop them off at day care or preschool? — Saying goodbye can be difficult for both of you when dropping off a child. As the adult, you must manage your child's feelings while you deal with your own feelings. Talk with the caregiver or teacher about ways you can work together to make drop offs easier.

Some tips that can help make this easier for both of you:

●Bring something special from home to leave with your child. Your child might like to keep a picture of you or something of yours in their pocket or nearby until you return. A special scarf or tie from a parent or other family member can give your child comfort. A familiar teddy bear, blanket, or small toy can also be helpful.

●Plan to spend a few extra minutes when you drop them off. If possible, help them get settled or start to play.

●Know that your child might start to cry when you get ready to leave. Do not sneak away without telling them that you are leaving.

●Your child might be sad and hang on to you. Give a kiss and hug, and promise to come back. Say a quick goodbye with love, and leave promptly. You can check in with the caregiver in a little while to see how quickly your child has calmed down. This can be reassuring for you.

What are some other helpful tips? — At the end of the day, your child might not want to leave day care or preschool because they are having fun. If your child starts to cry because they have to leave, talk to them about when they will be back and the fun you both will have at home. It can also help to remind them that everyone has to go home from day care, even the people who work there. Sometimes, a snack or special book for the trip home can help.

If your child is having trouble with goodbyes or adjusting to day care or school, build time away from your child slowly:

●Start by sitting in some other part of the room, away from your child, but where they can see you.

●Next, step out of the room for a short time, but come back into the room where your child is.

●Once your child is used to you being gone for a short time, move to a place out of sight of your child.

●Eventually, your child will become more comfortable with you being gone for longer times.